Shallow End, Deep End

I don't believe meditation practices should be pursued just because they bring us benefits; but I won't judge those who do.

Why do people embrace meditation, mindfulness practice, zazen, or centering prayer?

Certainly there are many reasons. Some, no doubt, are seeking spiritual growth. Those who desire a closer relationship with God or the Spirit may seek out practices like these in order to foster that sense of divine intimacy.

And others might be looking for a more down-to-earth benefit. I, for one, first became interested in meditation when I was in college, and for a very simple reason: I wanted to be able to manage my anxiety better.

I can’t say that I experienced meditation as a cure-all, but it certainly helped. And even though from the beginning I had a vague sense that meditation offered a promise for spiritual growth or even enlightenment, what kept me coming back to the practice was an intuitive sense that it helped me to regulate my tendency to feel fear, anxiety, or even panic.

I know other people embrace meditation to help them sleep better, or to provide a spiritual context to their recovery journey (in 12-step parlance, meditation makes for a great “11th step” activity), or to manage pain more effectively. I imagine some people might even take on a meditation practice in order to alleviate depression or to improve their productivity, although I personally don’t know anyone whose motivations are specifically like this.

Nevertheless, I think it’s fair to say that many people might explore a meditation practice, or even begin such a practice, motivated by a desire to see what meditation can do for them. In other words, meditation is worth pursuing because it is a means to an end.

Now, I also know people, usually dedicated practitioners of a meditation method that they learned in a religious context (like zen within Buddhism or centering prayer within Christianity), who disapprove of such a benefit-based approach to spiritual practice. It’s a logic I certainly understand, and I have used it myself: “reducing centering prayer (or any other meditation method) to just a means to an end is to strip it of much of its value. Meditation is its own reward, and the benefits it offers us should be seen as bonus blessings, and not the main point behind the practice. Making meditation be about its benefits is basically making it a transactional tool for personal wellness, not a powerful means to spiritual liberation or enlightenment.”

I understand that some people might be troubled by what has been called “McMindfulness.” Just as a fast food chain might strip the nutrients away from the items on its menu, prioritizing convenience and profit over wholesome nourishment, so-called McMindfulness implies that the truly spiritual nurturing qualities of meditation have been stripped away in our culture in order to promote wellness methods that can be simply taught, commercialized, and monetized. You get the “benefits” but none of the challenges (like a call to humility, sacrifice, or ethical living) that have historically gone hand-in-hand with a serious spiritual practice.

As understandable as that critique might be, over time I have begun to question whether it’s really helpful to put down “McMindfulness.” It seems to me that when we do that, we are being judgy if not moralistic, which does little to make a more traditional meditation discipline appealing, at least to those who experience our negative judgment.

I do think that secular or “McMindful” practices are probably less conducive to deep interior growth than more traditional and rigorous contemplative methods. My own journey has borne this out. Over time, I became more drawn to meditation not just for what it could “do for me” but as an unconditional spiritual practice that I saw as a free gift I could offer to the Spirit. Paradoxically, by doing this my sense of how meditation benefited or transformed me grew deeper. It seems that letting go of a desire for personal benefit created the space for meditation to become more beneficial than ever before.

The analogy I like to use is that meditation is like diving into a swimming pool. Benefit-based meditation — whether for mental health wellness, or to support recovery, or whatever — is like swimming in the shallow end of a pool. It is an authentic “swimming” experience, but it can only take you so deep. To get to the deeper side of the water, where you are no longer able to stand on the floor of the pool, requires a willingness to trust the meditation practice for itself, and let go of the need or desire to get something from it.

Keeping to the shallow end of the pool is perfectly fine. It’s definitely an experience of swimming, and it seems to be truly safe and more accessible. I won’t criticize those who are swimming at the shallow end — but I do want them to know that there is a much richer and deeper experience that is available for when they are available to take the plunge. A deeper practice, promising no reward beyond itself, needs stronger boundaries to keep safe — but it offers a lifetime of spiritual growth and transformation to anyone willing to embrace such inner work carefully and respectfully.