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Don Salmon's avatar

Was it Andre Gide who said the future of Christianity will be mystical, or it will not be at all?

In any case, this question of "spiritual but not religious" has always fascinated me. When people argue in favor of institutional religion, they always seem to assume the choice of what religion is obvious.

Am I Christian because I grew up in the United States? (this gets to the recent Charlie Kirk inspired question of what it means to claim the US is a "Christian" nation, but we'll let that one go at that for now)

Let's see. When I was born, in the early 1950s, my parents had already joined the Unitarian church - which I later found out was not due to any religious interest on their part but "for the sake of the children." I begged them to let me stop going when I was 11; not for any grand reason but because I found it so deadly boring (I've tried again since, by the way - two services over the course of 30 years in NY City; one in Greenville, SC, one in Asheville, NC and one in Black Mountain, NC - astonishingly, just as boring as the ones back in the 1950s!!)

I had no idea - really - I had a Jewish background until one day in the car, one of the last Sundays I went to Unitarian church, my mother casually mentioned something about a rabbi in our ancestry. having already absorbed the general atmosphere of anti semitism in my relatively conservative New Jersey suburb, I was horrified that I was "one of them" (it took a few years to get over, but now I have a good deal of pride in my Jewish roots)

I'll quickly pass over the fact that I became a "mystic" one day when I was 17 (May 1970) but wondered for maybe 20 years if I was meant to be part of some institution. I thought of becoming a Tibetan Buddhist monk and living in Dharmsala; that was 1974, but the next year I met a teacher in the tradition of Sri Aurobindo, and I've been in that tradition now for 50 years. It's hard to imagine any group more anti institutional than the Sri Aurobindo folks - "No rules!" is one of our favorite quotes from MIrra Alfassa (the Mother)

But back to Christianity. I did hear people saying one must get in touch with one's own cultural roots. So, I fell in love with Brother Lawrence's Practice of the Present of God when I was 20, and the same year loved "The Way of the Pilgrim." I also read the Bible - cover to cover - twice that year (though, confession time, I did actually skim through Leviticus and Numbers)

I was the music director of a Spanish Catholic church throughout the 1980s, and the fact that I kind of understand Spanish when I pay attention meant I could zone out just a bit and enjoy the music of the mass without having to be annoyed by the sermons (Father Alphege, a gay - but non abusive - alcoholic priest, happened to be a deeply contemplative man, and over the years he taught me a great deal about Christian contemplative practice, always recommending the Cloud of Unknowing and sharing his Marian devotion).

But I honestly could never understand what the appeal of conventional religion was. It felt like at best an appeal to conventional ethics and in its minimal form (this is apart from the utter horror of fundamentalist religions) seemed to be a social gathering place). How people could hear things like "Not I but Christ in me" or "In you is the Light of the world" or God is "he in whom we live and move and have our being" and not desperately yearn to live 24 hours a day in his/Her Presence; I could never understand how religious people so completely miss all that!

Anyway, I didn't have Carl McColman's books to guide me back in those days; perhaps that might have helped!!!

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